


It's a Metaphor

by booyouhorse



Category: The Fault in Our Stars - John Green
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe, Cancer, Character Death, F/M, POV Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 12:24:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1469740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booyouhorse/pseuds/booyouhorse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the trip to Amsterdam, Hazel has a major relapse and ends up in the ICU. Augustus sneaks in to visit her in her final moments. This short story is told through the eyes of Gus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a Metaphor

The obnoxious chiming of my cell phone wakes me up from pleasant, faintly Amsterdam-related dreams. Hazel's name flashes on the screen.

"Hello, love," I answer. An older, broken version of her voice replies.

"Gus? It's Hazel's mom." That single sentences releases dread into my veins, my whole body going cold.

"Is she okay?" I utter.

"She's...it's not looking so good. She's in the ICU. The edema is building too fast to drain and the tumors even started growing again. She's...she's dying," her mom chokes. She breaks down over the phone, and I just let her cry until she's reduced to nothing more than sniffles.

"Can I see her?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"I'm sorry, honey, but it's family only. You know I'd let you visit if I could."

Disappointed and extremely worried, I say goodbye and hang up. Sleep evades me for the rest of the night.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day, I decide that I wouldn't be able to live the rest of my life without seeing the love of my life before she goes. The bus drops me off at the hospital, and the horrible smell hits me as I walk through the automatic doors, stirring memories of chemotherapy and PET scans. I stroll through, looking like I have a reason to be here besides to sneak into the ICU.

When I get there, I find her right away. Her eyes are shut, with tubes in her nose and a mask over her face to keep her lungs working. Machines announce her fragile heartbeat, which stutters and falters. Her parents aren't there, they must be down in the cafeteria. I don't have a lot of time.

"Hazel Grace," I whisper when I see her. Her eyes flutter and then she's looking at me. Underneath the mask, her lips turn up in a weak smile. I hear her mumble, "Gus."

"Oh God," I choke, my voice trembling like her tenuous hold on life. Her skin is cold and her lips are chapped but she's still so beautiful. She still makes my heart collapse in my chest.

"I'm dying," she tells me weakly. I simply reply with a sad smile. I don't know what to say. There are no words of comfort at this point. She _is_ dying. It's useless to console the terminally ill.

"I love you," I remind her. I barely hear her mumble, "Okay."

"Okay."

She closes her eyes again. I press my fingertips to her wrist. Her heart keeps faltering, flopping in her chest like a fish out of water. Her parents return right as the monitor stops reading her heart. Because there is no more heartbeat. She's gone.

I hear her mother's desolated cry and her father's thunderous sob. I hear the monotone beep, the single tone that stretches on and on. A doctor walks in with a sympathetic face, and shuts off the machine that is still trying to pump life into her.

Her parents spot me just as the doctor does. "Are you family?" she asks. Hazel's mom opens her mouth, but she can't push a sound past her teeth.

I shake my head and the doctor nods towards the door. "I'm very sorry, but you have to leave." I look behind me as I walk across the threshold, and watch Hazel's parents collapse over her body, murmuring her name and affectionate terms of endearment.

I lean against the wall outside of the ICU as my heart crumbles in its cavity. I pull out my pack of cigarettes and shove one in my mouth.

I light the cigarette.


End file.
